When it comes to presenting, I am a lot more comfortable than common misconceptions of autism may have you believe. This may well have its origins in the fact that as an autistic person, I love talking about my interests and hyper-fixations, and a presentation of any form - providing it involves something I have an interest in - allows me to do so. But, whilst it is often said that my passion for what I am talking about shines through, how I present myself visually can often be the elephant in the room.
My recent poster presentation assessment was no different. After the stress and difficulty of creating my poster designed to introduce the concept of PICE research and the reasoning behind using this approach in my research (see previous post), I now had the presentation to look forward to. However, one of the problems I have when facing a new situation is what attire is appropriate to wear. I have come up with various solutions to this over the years. I have an all-black "uniform" I have created from trousers, a black short-sleeved top, and a plain jumper for face-to-face customer service situations in which I am not given a uniform to wear. In formal meeting-type office situations, I dress smartly in shirts, cardigans, skirts, etc. But in all other situations involving me interacting with others, whether social, academic or work-related, I become a little bit lost, and the poster presentation was no different, so what should I do?
Well, I guess the first step was to give the situation context. The context, at first glance, appeared to be formal. We would be presenting our posters to a range of individuals, from PhD students to academic staff within the psychology department. That says formal to me, but whilst it is face-to-face formal, it is not customer service formal, so perhaps we need to apply the office wear rules? Yet, something told me that if I did that, I would appear significantly overdressed when standing next to my fellow students. I doubted that I would be able to convince people that presenting our posters in formal attire was a good idea. Yet, still, I needed to be dressed in an outfit that I did not associate with a casual situation so that my brain would know that this was not an informal chat and as such, the use of profanities and other such non-professional languages would not be seen as acceptable. So what other context might I be able to apply to this situation, allowing me to assign suitable clothing to not look out of place yet still tell my brain that I needed to be mindful of how I conducted myself?
Christmas. We were attending the university that day, not only to present our posters but also as our last day together as a group before we broke up for the festive break. Now Christmas is something I can get my head around, and dressing appropriately for the last day of work or study before breaking up for Christmas is something I have done and practised many times before. Whether it be the office or shop work or even a Christmas party in which I did not know who would attend, I knew I had an outfit that would be seen as suitable, if not a little over the top. But over the top is okay; it is Christmas, after all! I tested the water by asking our group chat if it may be appropriate to make this our "Christmas jumper day" as an autistic person, I don't always know when I am overstepping the mark, but I have learned that if I ask, others will tell me. So I asked, and it was confirmed that Christmas jumpers were "GO!".
When it came to the day, I chose to wear my Christmas tree jumper dress, and I combined it with the tights that made my legs look like a tree trunk and the boots that resembled a plant pot. Undoubtedly I knew that this would be a little over the top. Still, the ridiculousness of it reminded my brain that all eyes would be on me and that I needed to conduct myself appropriately, as people would be watching. I chose the spot closest to the door to place my poster. When we were hit by a sea of people when the presentation opened its doors, I felt ready to face the world, knowing that I was dressed appropriately, at least for the absurdity that is the festive period. I enjoyed talking the hind legs off anybody who came over to discuss my poster and research and even got a few smiles and compliments on what I had chosen to wear. Because one thing I have learned is that if you are unsure of the dress code, far better to be stared at because you have intended to wear something ridiculous than to be stared at because you are wearing something unfitting that simply looks out of place. Because when all eyes are on me, if all else fails and I am dressed in something unsuitable, I like to think, if nothing else, that at least I made somebody smile.